LOS ANGELES- The last few decades have been quite unusual for Michael Lisbon. Why? Well, last week, the 49 year old restaurant owner revealed to the world that he has never been groped by the actor Kevin Spacey, not even once.
“That’s right, no #MeToo for me,” said Lisbon. “Of course I told my wife first, and even she was rather surprised.”
Lisbon’s wife, Katherine Hope Baker-Lisbon, a psychologist, told TOWN PM, she just assumed Michael’s reaction formation of normalcy was merely a coping mechanism from the 2 time Oscar winning actor having done a number on him. “Never in a million years did I ever suspect he wasn’t groped by the actor Kevin Spacey,” she said.
Lisbon says he fully supports and empathizes with those who have felt the actor’s hot boozy breath against their young faces while being pinned down by the weight of his desire, or his coconut crushing hands reaching around in line at CVS, but can’t help but feel a sort of ‘survivors guilt’ for being the only man on the face of the planet to not experience the PTSD that comes from the actor Kevin Spacey’s aggressive and unwelcome advances.
And it’s not like there hasn’t been ample possibility. Lisbon and the actor Kevin Spacey have crossed paths on multiple occasions. Lisbon recounts two of those most unremarkable incidents:
“One time at LAX we were sitting across from each other waiting to get on the same red eye, we were practically the only ones at the gate. I worked up the nerve to tell him how much I appreciated his work as an actor, to which he responded in his deep and charming southern accent, ‘Why thank you, I never get tired of hearing that,’ and then he signed the back of my iPad with a Sharpie, and that was that.”
“About a year later, at a dusk to dawn leather-rave, I could see him make eye contact with me while his face was bathed in one of the laser lights, but again, nothing.”
Lisbon sighed, “I have a normal, well adjusted life, and for that I’m thankful, but in a way it’s lonely being the only one.”